These Truths I Hold to be Self-Evident (Travel Edition)

Dogs are territorial pack animals.

Geckos occasionally trumpet their opinions from the rafters.

Geckos occasionally rustle through snack bags.

Snorkeling tests the limits of one’s anxiety disorder.

There is at least one $2 million CAD emerald necklace in a shop window in Hong Kong, China.

Public restrooms are the most important part of any community.

Ideas of cleanliness, personal space, the cleanliness of a public washroom, the need for paper towels with which to dry one’s hands (just flap ‘em about) can change greatly over time.

A sensible way to calm and transport your rooster on a ferry passage is under your shirt.

A smile and a warm greeting makes one appreciate a well run hotel.

Lack of toilet paper and/or soap can greatly alter one’s day.

Having to ask for toilet paper and/or soap can signal an oddly run hotel.

A hotel scrimping on toilet paper and/or soap can make guests act furtively.

There’s nothing quite like starting the day with a clean butt. (Rob Neyedley)

Extreme relaxation can mean the inability to coherently string polysyllabic words together.

100% air conditioned can mean that all the windows are rolled down.

Don’t presume that this isn’t the “good” road.

Ants of varying sizes can get in everything.

You can affect change if you desire it. (Rob Neyedley)

Perhaps on second thought, it doesn’t make sense to have the entire Van Morrison catalogue tattooed on your body.

If you pack three gray shirts, your photos will look uniform and no one will know how many evenings you’ve worn a particular shirt.

One can thrive on the travel experience or one may never want to leave home again.

Butterflies are hopped up on something.

Blindingly white clouds set against an impossibly blue sky can be endlessly fascinating.

Octopi are territorial and strength wins out.

Cross the street with purpose; don’t stop, slow down or turn back; keep a steady forward pace.

Bangkok is a sooty city with sooty dogs.

Singaporians live to eat.

Hawaiians live to eat.

Fried dough is killer!

Many cultures make perogies, they just call them something else.

If you smile at someone’s baby, you’ll make a friend of the parent.

Definitions of restaurant, toilet, taxi, ferry, personal safety, bus, hotel room change over time.

It doesn’t really matter what you do on your vacation as long as you and your traveling companion enjoy it.

I’d rather smell of sunscreen than Tiger Balm.

Sometimes some motion sickness pills just make the day go more smoothly.

A good store or restaurant can have a resident dog, cat or gecko or two.

Swimming is like flying in the water, flying is like swimming in the air.

Geckos can fall unscathed from great heights to the concrete with a resounding smack.

For all those whiners out there, the bed is not too hard, your butt’s too soft, the pillow’s not too soft, your head’s too hard.

If you don’t like different, stay home! (Rob Neyedley)

It’s okay if the table is a little sticky.

People generally respond well to a genuine smile. If they don’t, at least you tried.

Restaurant décor, who needs décor?

Restaurant walls, who needs walls?

Sorry, I still need toilet paper.

Tourists = garbage.

You appreciate good health in its absence.

Violently losing all your stomach contents many cause several days of surreal feelings.

Everyone in the world puts their jacket on one arm at a time. (Rob Neyedley)

Sometimes the best tour is a disorganized tour. (Rob Neyedley)

Hunger makes a good cook. (Joe Neyedley)

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then enjoyment is in the mind of the participant.

Travelling gets you out of your comfort zone.

Baby animals and baby humans are darn cute.

If you hate the place, it’s okay, you’ll be moving in a few days.

If you love the place, it’s too bad, you’ll be moving in a few days.

$0.99 earplugs should be part of all travelers’ luggage.

Think of one good thing about the room, location, experience. Maybe it’s to search and say “I like the soap holder”, but do it.

If you want it just the same as home, just stay home.